Hello Unbrides, it’s me-the husband.
You may have noticed me lurking around in the comments section for past couple of years both here and over at my wife’s photography website.
Well, here we are, coming up on our one year anniversary. A year ago we were pounded with things to do, people to call and thousands of little details to check off before we (and over a hundred of our friends) descended on Washington D.C.
This first 12 months have really been perfect, and, although we have yet to go on a proper honeymoon or settle in to a normal schedule (I work in tv, Justine is a photographer) I still feel like our unbride wedding was the best day of my life-and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Now, as you all know Justine picked the venue, the band, the designer, the catering, the flowers, the lighting designer and the videographers. She is also responsible for working tirelessly to pull it together and getting the best team in the industry to help plan and execute the day. All of that is great, it really is, but I think the time has come for all of you to know MY REQUESTS and MY CONDITIONS that I brought to the table before I let the trigger be pulled for the wedding of the year to move forward.
The following is a list of things that I discussed with Justine during the initial planning of our wedding, they were my concerns about our big day and the things that were, well, a deal breaker for me.
Read these and tell me if you think I was a crazy fiance concerned with ridiculous details or just a regular guy stating some ground rules and establishing the foundation of a great marriage.
In no particular order. (Justine’s responses to those requests are in parantheses)
1. No garter or bouquet tossing (agreed, even if I was into it (which I’m not), we are way too old for that stuff)
2. No fruit filling in the cake, I hate that (no comment)
3. No hitting the side of the glass with a fork to make us kiss (I will personally eject any guest who bangs on their glass after being warned once)
4. No Macerena, chicken dance or line dance (I would rather die than see any type of line dance at my wedding)
5. Do I really need to shave? (please don’t, I won’t recognize you)
6. Can we have confetti canons go off when we are pronounced husband and wife? (this request came about a week before the big day…my reply? “knock yourself out”…there were no confetti canons at our wedding)
7. Can we have Back In Black by AC/DC play as we leave the ceremony? (totally!)
8. Can I wear Converse sneakers with my new John Varvatos tux? (please do…I even stepped in to prevent the sale of some $600 dress shoes that I knew would never again see the light of day)
9. Can we serve cocktails before the ceremony? (I believe this was actually my idea)
and finally, back to number 2…
10. Did I mention no fruit filling in the cake. (still no comment)
So there, that’s it, my demands. What do you all think? I am curious what crazy list of requests your fiances blurted out during the planning of your weddings (or upcoming wedding).
We don’t ask for much, and we let you plan these big events that really are all about you, so I think a few needs here and there should be allowed and expected.
Luckily, Justine was on the same page as I was and none of these things caused a problem-which is why we are perfect together!
Still, to this day, I think if I didn’t say anything we would have had some lemon filling in there ruining that cake.
Thoughts? Bring them on- I can handle it.
Photos by Greg Gibson
gili Says:
This is adorable. You’re obviously on the same wavelength about many things.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:21 am
June Hoffman Says:
“Un-groom”…no! “Groom-zilla”…NO!! “Real groom”…YES!! Actually, you are a “cool” groom who truly participated in creating a unique experience for yourself and your fiance’ as well as your family and friends. Anything short of being your true self would have been short-changing the whole purpose of celebrating. At least you set your sights higher than so many grooms who simply attend their wedding for the food, beer, and a romp after the festivities. With over 23 years helping brides and grooms, I say “Congrats to YOU”!!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:02 am
Nicole Says:
no – not at all! you had some fun requests and some realistic ones. i love justine’s parentheses responses… “knock yourself out” haha
October 1st, 2009 at 5:25 am
CaitStClair Says:
Not a groomzilla at all!
Actually, I think my then-fiance had even more requests including walking up the aisle to Ice, Ice Baby and contructing a backdrop (which I really didn’t want but I’ll admit he was right on this one), to having a signature drink in addition to wine and beer (although it was originally my idea but he latched onto it at the same time I was ready to scrap it. Again, if the damn distillery would ever buy back the case of vodka like they said they would, I’ll admit he was right on this one too) and insisted on a double dance floor.
I say well done being involved! I told my guy several times that if not for him and his involvement we would have had a tiny wedding. There’s no way I could have pulled off what we did by myself!
October 1st, 2009 at 10:10 am
Ellen Petty Says:
Well written “husband”. D only had two demand…no kids for 5 years, and he was to have complete control of the music. I can’t believe your wedding was a year ago!
October 1st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
James Says:
I heart confetti canons.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Amanda Katherine Says:
You two are too cute and it is so fun to see a grooms post!! My Groomzilla (haha) only requested open bar, after dinner desert shots instead of a champagne toast, and a sideshow. The only one I don’t care for is the sideshow that you see at every wedding but I think I came up with a really fun twist on that.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Stacy Able Says:
This is fantastic. What a great insight into the groom’s perspective which all too often gets ignored for the bride and families wants. Way to go groom. Rock those converse!!
October 9th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
chibride Says:
That’s not asking a lot. It’s good to have your voice heard in the melee of wedding chaos. My groom had a few rules: the wedding dress should be a surprise, he wanted to wear a yellow tie, he didn’t want to wear argyle socks (which made me a tiny bit sad), and he wanted to bust a groove when exiting the ceremony (we chose James Brown, I Feel Good) which made me really happy.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Sandra Says:
Groom-zilla– definitely not! My fiance’s requests are for paperless invitations (i.e., e-invites, but classy), potted and locally grown centerpieces, no boutonnieres, no more than 3 speeches, no tie (we are negotiating this one), shoes that light up when he walks down the aisle- if he can find them in adult size, keeping the guest list to under 175, and having friends partake in the ceremony by reading out prayers. I think these are all fair requests!
October 13th, 2009 at 3:59 am
Deborah Says:
Awesome! Yay for participation! Love the Converse and yay for not allowing kiss clinking!!
When my fiance proposed, his two requests were that it take place after the World Cup this summer (he and most of his friends are soccer fans, players, and coaches and the summer is best because most of our friends are teachers) and his second request is that we have the reception on a boat.
Well, we’re having the whole thing on a yacht (one of the party yachts that can accommodate up to 400 people – we’re only having about 150) and we’re doing it about two weeks after the World Cup ends.
My suggestion to him was that we get married right before the World Cup starts and honeymoon in South Africa and go to some of the games… My darling fiance thought that it would not be romantic enough for a honeymoon. I never thought I’d see the day where he turned down an opportunity to go to a soccer match, but he did…
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